I Wish I Could Go Back

I'm stuck inside my thoughts again,

A place where the light feels dim,

Where yesterday keeps calling my name,

And tomorrow feels uncertain and grim.

I wish I could go back to the days,

When happiness came a little more free,

When I didn't have to fight my mind,

Just to find a little peace in me.

I miss the person I used to be,

Before the weight became so strong,

Before I learned to hide my tears,

And pretend that nothing was wrong.

The memories play like an old song,

Familiar, beautiful, and bittersweet,

I reach for the life I once knew,

But it keeps slipping beneath my feet.

I wish things could go back to the way they were,

Before the sadness settled in my chest,

Before every thought became a battle,

Before I forgot what it felt like to rest.

I want to laugh without forcing it,

To wake up without feeling so lost,

To look in the mirror and recognize

The person beneath all this exhaustion.

Some days, I'm angry at my mind,

For taking moments I can't replace,

For turning my safest memories

Into somewhere I can't stay.

But somewhere beneath this heavy feeling,

There's still a part of me holding on,

A part that whispers, "Keep going, Randi,"

Even when the strength feels gone.

Maybe I can't return to yesterday,

No matter how hard I wish I could,

But I deserve to find new moments

That feel as beautiful as the old ones once did.

So tonight, I'll let myself feel,

The grief for what I've left behind,

And remind myself that even in darkness,

I haven't lost every piece of light.

I miss the way things used to be.

I miss the peace, the laughter, the ease.

But I am still here, still trying to breathe,

Still hoping one day, I'll feel like me. ❤