Emotionally Unavailable

In shadows where the heart beats slow and steady,

A fortress stands tall, walls thick and ready.

Constructed of silence, with bricks made of fear,

I dwell in this castle, but long for you near.

With every soft whisper, I turn my face away,

An ocean of longing, but I’ll not let it sway.

The tides of emotion crash high on my shore,

Yet I gaze at the horizon, still longing for more.

I wear a mask crafted from laughter and light,

To cloak the deep ache that keeps me up at night.

Each smile a deflection, a shield on display,

A performance that hides what I feel every day.

The world is a canvas, vibrant and bright,

But my palette is muted, colors lost to the night.

I paint with the past, each stroke filled with doubt,

And bury the feelings too hard to let out.

Connections slip past me like leaves in the breeze,

People reach out, but I’m brought to my knees.

I crave understanding yet keep them at bay,

By building these walls, I am lost in the fray.

In crowded rooms bustled with laughter and cheer,

I wander like smoke, elusive, unclear.

While others find solace in moments they share,

I hide in the corners, pretending I care.

What if I let you see beneath this façade?

Would you stay for the storms or run away hard?

The depths of my essence are tangled and raw,

But I fear that my truth would expose every flaw.

Oh, how I desire to open the gates,

To let love come rushing, to challenge my fates.

But the chains of my past hold me tight in their grip,

And I drift on the surface, afraid of the ship.

So here I remain, in this liminal space,

Wishing for freedom, yet fearing the race.

Between hope and despair, I learn to reside,

An emotional wanderer, too scared to confide.

Yet someday I’ll venture, beyond this façade,

And shed all the layers I thought were so laud.

For deep down I know, through the turmoil and strife,

There’s beauty in feeling; there’s power in life.

So here’s to tomorrow, to breaking the chains,

To facing the music despite all the pains.

For being emotionally unavailable can’t last,

I’ll embrace every moment, and finally, be free at last.