Not Me

A mirror,

With a reflection.

Tears running down,

Thinking why?

Why can't i accept it,

The happiness.

Even the truth,

Just can't bare it.

My mind,

Is not clear.

So unclear,

That i can't see the truth.

The truth before me,

People saying good.

When i hear it,

Goes through one ear,

And out the other.

Wishing i could just,

Accept it all.

But my mind?

Just wont let me.

It wont let me be me.

What you people see?

Somebody sweet,

Caring.

Some things may be true,

But i just can't believe it.

I want to love me,

But i cant be me.

I cry,

Behind closed doors.

Depression consumes me,

I just wanna be me.

This me?

Right now?

No.

This me,

Is not me.

Hey Y'all... listen i'm so sorry i haven't posted anything in about a week or so. work and then just other things have just been really getting to me. as i was writing this i had tears rolling down my cheeks. why? i'm just not mentally okay with myself like i should be. and its sad because i here so many good things about me from so many people. but there is always that voice in my head telling me no none of that crap is true. your just a loser.i try not to listen to that but honestly like i stated in this poem depression really consumes me. i know if anyone who reads this and sees me in person may think i'm never depressed because i'm always laughing and smiling. but truthfully behind all of that is pain. pure pain from being depressed. i can't explain what is wrong with me most of the time because this all just happens. i'm just not happy with myself...so i'm sorry to everyone but i'm just not happy with me and if my poetry seems to boring or sad or whatever to you i'm sorry...at least i'm still sorta trying to put effort in to something i love and that's writing. hopefully you all enjoy reading what you see... peace out